We handed over my loving mother Roberta to Gods grace on Monday morning October 1st, 2007. She passed away peacefully at home with her loving,devoted husband Charles and family a week after suffering a pulmonary embolism, a complication from the later stages of the Alzheimer's she battled valiantly for 15 years.
Born Roberta Katherine Jackson on January 22nd, 1932 in Palo Alto, California. "Bobbie" grew up with a passion for horses. She was very active in 4H and Rodeo events and was a frequent Rodeo Queen. Mother was also active in High School activities. She was a Cheerleader at Palo Alto High and the young beauty was very popular with her classmates.
Mom was such a loving, caring and incredibly generous woman. She lived her life and loved those around her with such a passion. Mom was a woman of a strong but quiet faith, active in her church and its activities, and always keeping her personal relationship with God close to her heart.
She was always there for us growing up, Mom didn’t believe that staying home and raising her children was a sacrifice; she believed it was her loving and honorable mission and duty in life. Bobbie was such a wonderful mother, and often times an incredible father as well.
When Dad was stationed for long tours in the USAF of a year or more like in Saudi, Mom had the parenting double-duty. She would gather us about once a week to listen to the audio tapes and watch the Super 8 movies that dad had sent home. She would record a tape and send it back keeping us closer as a family on these lonely overseas postings.
Mom even pinch-hit for Dad teaching my identical twin brother Greg and I how to play baseball. She would play catch, and pitch us the ball and give us all the pointers on bunting and slugging; Mom definitely didn’t throw like a girl. When we were ready to join Little League, she took us to the sign-up table for the 2nd grade team. The guy looks at Greg and I, who were pee-wee T-ball size runts. He wouldn’t let us sign up for anything; not even pee-wee T-ball. This guy probably to this day has no idea how close he came to being clubbed like a baby seal. Thank goodness I had the baseball bat.
Another gentleman who was standing nearby overheard her heated discussion and told her that he was with a cross-town league and signed us up for our grade. One game, Mom who always acted as official scorer, had to come out on the diamond to point out exactly how her son Gregory had just made an unassisted Triple Play because the Umpire was so stunned he wasn’t sure what had just occurred! The other teams’ scorer confirmed it and the ump made the call… SIDE OUT! Further validation of her prowess as a baseball instructor came when Greg and I were named co-MVPs for our team that year following the Championship game. Thanks to you Mom!
Mom had such a dynamic personality. She would enter a room, and her smile and charisma would just light it up. She was so beautiful, and had such a wonderful grace and sense of style. Mom and took great pride in her appearance, yet there was never any conceit or arrogance about her. Bobbie loved to entertain, because she loved people and the fellowship of family, good friends and good times. Her parties were always well attended.
Mother was always so charitable. It was all about giving her time, talents and treasure. It was while she was volunteering in a USO performance that she first met my Dad. A young Staff Sgt. from Inkster, Michigan named Myron Charles Bednarz.
After they married and had two daughters Christine and Lori, they moved to Japan for three years. While posted in Japan Mom worked with their Lutheran Church in the mission there to bring Christ to her Japanese friends and neighbors. She also volunteered with a local Japanese orphanage finding fathers of US servicemen, or parents in America that would adopt the mixed-race children that were abandoned by a society that at the time would not accept them.
She organized fund-raisers supporting these children by drafting my Dad into indentured servitude presenting his wonderful (tho amateur) singing voice as a big-time pro talent from the States and booking him to sing at Night Clubs in Japan. Little did she know in her efforts to help these orphans, what a Godzilla-like monster she would unleash from this shy and terrified young tenor she pushed onto the stage…. Now Dad will practically sit at freeway off-ramps holding a sign: WILL SING FOR FREE!
In the 70’s and 80’s Mom continued church volunteering, teaching Vacation Bible School and also became very active in GOP politics. She served as an officer in many GOP clubs and volunteering for numerous campaigns. Sorry Dubya, but Mom was the original “Compassionate Conservative”.
When Christine went to college and Lori was older, mom decided to volunteer at a local nursing home during our school hours. She used to make Greg and I go with her to visit the residents there in our early teens. At first we hated it, but soon we would ask her when we were going to visit our “Grandma’s and Grandpa’s” at the home. Mom had such love and compassion for these residents, in one of God's many ironies; she would receive the same love, care, and compassion that she provided over 30 years earlier in God's great circle. Mom would eventually become the Activities Director there in a paid position, but the increasing hours and responsibilities of her new job collided with the increasing unsupervised mischief of her boys as evidenced by a neighbor’s picture window shattered by our BB gun. So, she gave it up when she thought it affected her attention to her family, returning to part-time volunteer work. I really think though that she took more away from the experience when she believed she was giving fully of her own generosity of time and labor and by accepting pay honorable as the work was; it was somehow diminished in her eyes.
Mom provided us with great structure and disciplined love. Mom was strict, but fair. She was diligent in teaching us right and wrong. Mom always had us in Church on Sundays. She was resolved that her discipline would be tempered and always come from her love for us. I could always tell when I did something wrong, it was when I heard my FULL name….Michael R o b e r t Bednarz, through that strong, protruding chin in what we called the “Jackson Jaw”. My first recollection of it was when I was about 3 or 4 and she discovered the empty St. Joseph Children’s aspirin bottle that I had carefully and fairly doled all the tasty little orange flavored morsels contents of between my brother and I. (I had already learned the importance of sharing from mom you see) One for you, one for me, one for you, one for…... I was pretty young, but I still recall the horrific taste of Ipecac syrup and how those little orange candies didn’t taste nearly as good traveling the other way. I also heard my full name, once again in Great Falls, Montana. Greg and I were about 6 or 7 years old; it was really loud that time. We heard it on the second pass around the block on our bikes following the DDT fogging truck that was spraying to kill mosquitoes on the base housing. We thought she would be impressed that we were right up on that trucks bumper whuppin’ all the slower kids on the block.
Mom probably saved our lives with that two hour bath and the fiercest scrubbing that I will ever have in my lifetime.
Mom always supported us kids in all of our endeavors. She was so devoted to us. In 1991 when mother had first shown signs of problems, I had gotten food poisoning from a restaurant Marti and I had eaten at the night before. Marti had left that morning on a trip with her girlfriend out of town. I was so sick and weak I collapsed on the sofa and couldn’t make it upstairs. I was so dehydrated I knew I was in trouble. I reached the phone and called mom. I told her I needed her to bring me some Gatorade and medicines, to my house. She said she didn’t know where I lived………. I was stunned; she had been here scores of times. I asked her to really try and she overcame her fear for me and made it through and home safely. I think that was just about the last time she drove anywhere.
Mother also always supported my Dad throughout his life and careers as well. Dad was the love of her life. Their love story is so amazing. The young Staff Sgt. was instantly smitten by her beauty. Bobbie really knew how to pick one didn’t she? More than 50 years later, when mom began to have problems and knew something was amiss, the wisdom of her choice in a husband would really prove out. She set about teaching this man that barely knew how to boil water, or do a load of laundry everything he would need to know to care for himself.
Of course Dad would put that into practice, but really he did so in caring for her. Their love shined brightly through 56 years of commitment, to the letter of the vow- ‘till death do us part. Even last year, when Dad had his own life-threatening battle with cancer, Mom gave him the strength and inspiration he needed to conquer it. You see, he was so committed to her care and the promise he made to her that he would not be denied the privileged honor of providing that care for her at home to through the very end. I will never forget the look of shock and amazement on the faces of the nurses when Dad walked mom to her chair to get her out of the hospital and bring her home. Watching Dad give her those tender kisses near the end was so amazing, it was about the one thing that Mom would still respond to, and she would kiss him back. This Love affair, this marriage was the epitome’ of what Love and faithful commitment should be.
Dad you were the most wonderful husband and are an amazing father. Mom could never have done any better, ever asked for more, and you better believe that she knows it.
Mother, we are forever in your debt for the Love, support, and life you have given to us. I could never have asked for more from a Mother than you have given me as an example to follow through my life journey. You accepted your fate and the difficult path God had given you to come unto him without any malice, bitterness, or fear. To the end Mom lived her life with great dignity and love for her Family and Faith in Christ. I have no doubt that she is in God’s grace.
I will always love and miss you mother, but I take great pride, honor and comfort in being your son, and your namesake. I will forever hold you in my heart.
Your loving son,
Michael Robert Bednarz
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